I have a confession to make. I shoplift. I've shoplifted on multiple occasions. I haven't reached troubled-starlet proportions yet... I don't swipe goods from high-end boutiques.
I take things like baguettes, frozen burritos, and paper towels.
I suppose you could say that I coerce people to steal things for me. I distract them with my God-given charms. Use what you've got, I say. They're really putty in my hands, those poor saps. They think that they're just running errands, and crossing items off the grocery list. The power of distraction is an amazing thing. My effectiveness is less than 5%, but I'm only just getting started.
Once I start throwing tantrums on a regular basis, they'll give me whatever I want, just so I don't make a scene. I just hope my plan doesn't backfire. I like going for walks with Mama and Dada to the store.
Maybe I should cut them some slack. They do so much for me already... I guess that they can't remember everything. The lower basket of the stroller, the shopping cart, or even my little hands escape their view, and they forget what they've put there. My powers are endless!
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